What is my drive?
What gets me through the day?
Grappling.
The sweat.
The blood.
The frustration of when you can’t get a choke.
The adrenaline of when you salute and take your stance.
The happiness of when you hear your partner’s hand slap the mat rapidly.
When people think of therapy they think of..
4 walls.
2 chairs.
Deep conversation.
Someone writing your thoughts down.
But no.
Not me.
I have to have…
The sweat.
The blood.
The adrenaline.
The frustration.
The chokes.
The guards.
The throws.
The bruises.
The burns from the mat.
The unspoken bond and trust between you and your partner.
The satisfaction of knowing you’re helping someone hone in their skills and of them helping you.
The unbelievable joy and encouragement you feel when your teacher praises you.
Counting how many times you get your partner to tap out compared to when you first started.
That is what drive me, this constant unfulfilled sensation.